12 July 2022
Tuesday. School holidays. My vault has been robbed all week by people who still have to be reminded to wear a jumper.
Nine and up get the most out of my bank, the management says, though a seven-year-old may join a family crew if a grown-up is paying for them. Anybody nine or under must have a grown-up in the vault with them. I approve of this. Somebody responsible should witness the crime.
Older children, ten to thirteen, may rob me without a parent in the room, provided one waits at the venue with a coffee. Fourteen and over may form an entire criminal enterprise of their own. I find this sensible and slightly worrying.
Today’s crew was led by a girl of eleven with a clipboard. She allocated jobs, kept the time and told her uncle to stop touching things. Her uncle stopped touching things. I have offered her a position in the bank. She has asked about the salary.
Clive says the young ones are the fastest. Clive says this because one of them borrowed his torch and has not given it back.
— The Manager
